am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
