I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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