and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
