Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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