Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I love you. Go after that dick
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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