I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
