I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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