Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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