She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
