The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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