Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Probably.

  (216): View more from Ohio

  I'm in.

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  (216): Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word? (440): Probably. (216): I'm in. http://tfl.nu/bl31
  Replies (14) Good night (4183) Bad night (471)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...

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  (806): and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"... http://tfl.nu/oz9l
  Replies (77) Good night (1831) Bad night (6674)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.

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  (215): There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me. http://tfl.nu/xwbe
  Replies (8) Good night (859) Bad night (3522)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.

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  (774): I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books. http://tfl.nu/zd3b
  Replies (14) Good night (3947) Bad night (808)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.

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  (415): Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only. http://tfl.nu/ffub
  Replies (7) Good night (4839) Bad night (1014)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?

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  (404): I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing? http://tfl.nu/vakp
  Replies (12) Good night (4625) Bad night (1396)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.

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  (510): i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again. http://tfl.nu/nfnb
  Replies (10) Good night (3390) Bad night (884)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.

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  (970): Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate. http://tfl.nu/9f37
  Replies (6) Good night (3437) Bad night (1309)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was

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  (920): We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was http://tfl.nu/2xqa
  Replies (7) Good night (3245) Bad night (635)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.

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  (217): It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way. http://tfl.nu/sqy6
  Replies (5) Good night (2230) Bad night (1527)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.

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  (803): I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me. http://tfl.nu/ijqd
  Replies (14) Good night (2886) Bad night (1137)
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.

  (1-432): View more from Texas

  Erry day erry day!

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  (432): 3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life. (1-432): Erry day erry day! http://tfl.nu/wghw
  Replies (22) Good night (2241) Bad night (974)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.

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  (619): My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine. http://tfl.nu/2kaz
  Replies (5) Good night (1359) Bad night (476)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  You and the dog were competed for the water dish

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  (508): You and the dog were competed for the water dish http://tfl.nu/2x76
  Replies (2) Good night (437) Bad night (687)
• Favorite

  (+27): View more from South Africa

  His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often

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  (+27): His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often http://tfl.nu/sl6l
  Replies (1) Good night (890) Bad night (224)

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