He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.