fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself