Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
Well my cheeks are red now
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
as a side note pls kill me