You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.