Texts From Last Night

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  (602): View more from Arizona

  im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.

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  (602): im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child. http://tfl.nu/zwuo
  Replies (16) Good night (1578) Bad night (3846) Order T-Shirt
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.

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  (828): Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly. http://tfl.nu/q5lh
  Replies (14) Good night (966) Bad night (5553)
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  (555): View more from

  Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.

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  (555): Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style. http://tfl.nu/a25z
  Replies (30) Good night (2005) Bad night (3887) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  well i fucked her too, so yes.

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  (484): just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested? (610): well i fucked her too, so yes. http://tfl.nu/6v2h
  Replies (91) Good night (1328) Bad night (8887)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian

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  (902): i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian http://tfl.nu/10y7
  Replies (5) Good night (3526) Bad night (1046) Order T-Shirt
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  Vodka is such a love hate relationship.

  (661): View more from California

  Truer words have never been spoken.

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  (260): Vodka is such a love hate relationship. (661): Truer words have never been spoken. http://tfl.nu/p042
  Replies (21) Good night (5153) Bad night (992)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.

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  (561): If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls. http://tfl.nu/stc1
  Replies (8) Good night (3637) Bad night (1248) Order T-Shirt
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.

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  (901): There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/rmal
  Replies (2) Good night (2980) Bad night (878) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.

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  (215): He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that. http://tfl.nu/u001
  Replies (12) Good night (1939) Bad night (704) Order T-Shirt
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.

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  (316): You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are. http://tfl.nu/chox
  Replies (23) Good night (1364) Bad night (437) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."

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  (814): I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day." http://tfl.nu/1vs8
  Replies (5) Good night (989) Bad night (1476)
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  (909): View more from California

  If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis

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  (909): If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis http://tfl.nu/ldcq
  Replies (2) Good night (1581) Bad night (432) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?

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  (850): Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean? http://tfl.nu/rbfp
  Replies (5) Good night (724) Bad night (307) Order T-Shirt
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.

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  (856): I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now. http://tfl.nu/hfm5
  Replies (7) Good night (934) Bad night (678) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.

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  (734): I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first. http://tfl.nu/6gn4
  Replies (1) Good night (461) Bad night (161) Order T-Shirt

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