doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
