Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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