We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize