Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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