i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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