but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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