dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
