Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
