Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
