You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Randomize
