im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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