I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
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Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
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All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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