that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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