Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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