New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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