Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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