need another drink. this is the easiest way
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize