we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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