omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
