In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
