we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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