i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
