Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
