toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
