census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
