why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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