We need to rekindle our bromance
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
