the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
