I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
