I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
