the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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