doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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