just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
