I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
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