Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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