We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
