Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
