were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize