Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
