Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
