I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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