my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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