The maid of honor just puked.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
