Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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