UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
