I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize