Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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