She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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