I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
