hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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