he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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