it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Randomize
