Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
