also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
