How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
