You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
