dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
