This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
