I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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