i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
